The Not So $5M Bona Mugabe Wedding

The Understated Bona Mugabe Wedding

For the past two weeks Zimbabwe has been buzzing about the wedding of President Mugabe’s daughter Bona to supposed 37 year old pilot Simba Chikore. However, I think there is an elephant in the room that has not been addressed. According to local media in Zimbabwe, the Mugabe’s spent US$5 million on the wedding and preparations leading up to it. However, from looking at the pictures released by the Sunday Mail, Herald and Lusaka Times, nothing about the wedding indicated millions of dollars had been spent.

Let’s begin with Bona Mugabe’s wedding dresses. The first wedding dress she wore to the ceremony would have been slightly decent had the designer not added what looked like a collar. The second dress was just okay but nothing fitting for someone who spends $5 million dollars. Certainly many brides in Harare have worn better dresses. On an important occasion like a wedding one would think Bona would have considered getting a professional hairstyle. From what we saw on the pictures it looked like she just woke up and pulled her hair back. Bona’s face was shiny in many of the pictures shown to the public and it didn’t seem like her make-up if any was holding well. I hate to add fuel to the fire but I think Elizabeth Macheka looked better than the President’s daughter on her wedding day. LOL

I have to give credit to the Groom. His suit at the wedding ceremony definitely showed that he was going to marry the daughter of the President. His unique suit at both the wedding and reception was fitting for such an occasion. Because we know very little about the President’s son in law, we can only comment on what we see and say, “Haiwa Baba vahombe ava!” (This guy looks old!). President Mugabe also looked great as the bride’s father. Up to now little is known about Mugabe’s son in law, his parents, what schools he attended and what he has been doing with his life up to now. The rumor mill has it that he could have been an Central Intelligence Officer (CIO) which would explain the lack of information about his history. While Bona’s mother was proud of her well behaved virgin daughter, we are yet to hear about the virtuous attributes of Simba. For some reason Zimbabwe’s own spill master, Baba Jukwa has remained tight-lipped about Bona’s spouse and anything related to the wedding.

The mother of the bride, Grace Mugabe looked stylish however, she also seems to be a bit understated for the mother of the bride. The purple dress she wore at the ceremony was great but probably a matching hat would have added more style as the mother of the bride. However, the black evening gown she wore to the reception looked cheap. In the end guests like Dr. Christine Sata looked more like the mother of the bride than she did. Simba’s parents were wonderfully color coordinated except how mother’s top looked a little too big. Perhaps a hat would have been a great touch for her too. Maybe the Mugabe’s and Chikore’s could have gotten a few pointers from William and Kate’s wedding.

Let’s talk about the wedding party (vaperekedzi). Bona’s brothers looked like school age students from Bernard Mzeki or Prince Edward in school blazers. One might have thought they would have worn proper grey tuxedos that are accented with the pink color they wanted. The women were the worst. Their dresses looked like night dresses with glitter and no inner lining. The best girl I think was the one in grey and her dress looked like it was too big. Judging from President Mugabe’s custom suits one would have thought that on such an important occasion they would have hired a more professional dressmaker for their only daughter’s wedding. Mbatya idzi dzanga dzakasonwa namai Tendai chete (The clothes looked like they had been sewn by an unprofessional tailor).

Now to the reception. If it is you (kana ndimiwo), what is the coordination between the wedding color pink and the orange carpet on the stage that Bona and Simba were sitting on? The tusks and African theme was a reasonable attempt however, it didn’t look like it was a well thought out scheme. Where were the imported goods that we kept hearing about weeks before the wedding. From my vantage point, there was nothing at that wedding that looked like it was imported.

I think the mention of the day belongs to Kofi Olomide. I was truly disgusted. The half naked women brought to the wedding that was billed to have Presidents and major dignitaries left me stunned. I was in utter dismay looking at these scantily dressed women who had been hired to celebrate the President’s only daughter’s wedding. Grace Mugabe went out of her way to tell the nation of Zimbabwe that her daughter was a virgin and well behaved and reports indicate that Simba and his mother are active in ZAOGA. However, it was amazing to see that they would have this kind of strip show at a dignified wedding. Olomide himself was properly dressed for the occasion but his dancers definitely left me speechless. A word of advice to Mr. Olomide and his dancers, when you are invited to an event by a President you cannot wear the same clothes you would wear at your regular show. This was highly unprofessional and inappropriate.

Now I have to clarify that Bona’s wedding was not the worst but neither was it anything that was memorable. Out of the 68 invited Heads of States, only three decided to show. Some attendees complained about the little food served and those Kofi Olomide dancers go down in infamy more than anything else. Unless the meaning of lavish has changed, I think Zimbabweans are distorting its true meaning. In the end I can only conclude that the media was misled about the amount of money spent on the Bona Mugabe wedding. It looked more like $500,000 than $5 million. And if the Mugabe’s truly spent $5 million dollars, it may be worth taking the wedding organizer to court to get their money back (vakadyirwa mari chete).

WHAT LAVISH OR MILLION DOLLAR WEDDINGS LOOK LIKE

 

By Lillian Mhosva 2014